Brain reset

We all get triggers, and you can't always predict them.

A few days ago, I got triggered slightly. A few months ago, I had a major meltdown - two days of tears and depression and extra therapy sessions. Horrible, horrible days that I try not to think about much. A similar event happened, but that wasn't the trigger. It was the reaction of my twitter feed to the event - pretty much what had happened the first time. And seeing it was a physical shock, much like what happened the first time except that instead of feeling like a gut punch, it felt more like a poke. I can't actually find better words.

And my brain wouldn't let it go. I could even feel the same emotional reaction building. But, maybe because it was much, much less of a reaction, I could deal with it. I could reset my brain.

I turned off Twitter - turning off the app entirely so I wouldn't even see notifications. Then I walked to work - I have a fifteen minute commute on foot, one of the things I most love about my job. On the way, I stopped to do a little shopping. When I got to work, I went right to it, chopping onions and setting water to boil and so on. An hour or so later, I was in a very different place, and so was Twitter. The discussion had moved on, and the physical activity calmed me down.

I'm not sure what those emotions were - anger, maybe. Frustration. Feelings of isolation - I do not like when my reactions are negative when Twitter is positive about something because I feel very alone. It's something I recognize but I'm not sure how to manage given that since it's all emotional, there's a tag to it and not ignorable. However, I have learned something - how to reset my brain. Maybe that will help.