Mobility and Visibility

Scene in my synagogue today - a little girl is moving at full speed around the shul when she sees someone special to her. She stops, says the woman's name. The adult turns and bumps hands with her, with a huge smile. The little girl careens off to find her daddy, all excited by this encounter.

Very sweet. Also adorable. But hardly worth noting - it's normal behavior, right?

The little girl was born with spina bifida. Her legs don't work. She's finally at a point when she can use a wheelchair. She's a bright and friendly kid, fiercely loved by her parents (as is her non-disabled brother.) And in that wheelchair, she's ALIVE. She's free to move as far and as fast and as obnoxiously as she wants.

She's not bound to a stroller or confined to her parent's arms. She can play with her brother and get underfoot all on her own. She is a visible reminder why "wheelchair bound" or "confined to a wheelchair" are inaccurate terms.

If her mobility is still limited, it's because this is a world built for legs. But it doesn't have to be. Accessibility is possible. So this little girl can fly on her wheels.

But I'm not finished. Who was the adult? A woman with cerebral palsy who also uses a wheelchair. To this little girl, she was a grown-up who is JUST LIKE HER.  Seeing adults like yourself is vital. It shows that you have a future, that you are not and will not be alone.

And this adult was in a synagogue, a regular community place, not a school or therapy office. Just like she was.

Whether it's lack of accessibility or other reasons, adults with disabilities seem to disappear in "normal" settings, just where kids (both disabled and not) need to see them. Not as inspiration (I hate that word), but just as people. Who are smart or not, nice or not - just people with all the variations of people.

It's even important for invisible disabilities like autism. Many well-meaning people don't seem to realize that autistic adults exist. Those of us who can imitate neurotypicals well enough can fade into the population; those who can't are isolated and confined out of sight. The focus is on children and their parents.

So autistic kids, unless they have autistic parents, don't see adults like them. And there are limited services for autistic adults. So parents despair for kids they don't realize can learn to live and be independent. And express feelings and communicate. Nor does the greater community. It's as confining as stairs to a wheelchair user.